We all fall victim to the complain-a-thons, where getting together with the girls means venting about every frustrating thing you’ve experienced in the last 30 days. I often hear my friends going on and on about their issues with their boyfriends/husbands, so much so that they have to stop and think for a while when I ask about the good parts. Are we making things worse for ourselves?

When dealing with marriages that are falling apart, relationship counselors often ask couples to go back to the moment they first met, to recall and give energy the magic ‘spark’ that drew the two together in the first place. This can be a powerful tool to shift the focus of the couple to the positive from the negative. The Law of Attraction states that whatever we put our mind and energy on is what we will be perpetuate and get more of.

We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make our world.

By focusing on the negatives in our life, we prevent ourself from moving forward into new, positive realities. All our thoughts, even the ones we think are the most helpful (“I don’t need a man,” “He always does this and it’s so annoying!” “I can’t do this anymore”) are perpetuating that system of beliefs that’s creating a difficult situation (I can’t have a man because it’s too hard, he is purposefully annoying me and there’s nothing I can do about it, I’m going to run away because I’m not capable of taking the top and positivity to make this work).

So in honor of manifesting my positivity, I’m going to start a trend, which is a journal entry which begins with…
I am a woman well loved.

I live with a man who wipes off the toilet bowl if there are any drips. Who enjoys a neat and tidy house and will regularly do an all-around cleaning while I’m out.

I am loved by a man who regularly says “I haven’t taken you out lately, we need to go to a nice dinner.” Who humors me by including fresh flowers in the grocery list. Who buys only organic, all the time. Who tells me that if I don’t have enough money for my ridiculously expensive yoga classes this month, he’ll pay for it.

I am loved by a man who doesn’t believe in recycling but will load 4 bags of cardboard and paper to the bin every week, who will wash out plastic bags to reuse them, and who tends to and has developed an affinity for the compost pile.

I am loved by a man who supports my dreams and ambitions, and tells me that it’s important to take risks and aim high right now so that I can feel satisfied when I take a “break” to have kids and so that I have something to return to when the kids are grown-up.

I am loved by a man who likes my abnormally small breasts. In fact, he says he loves them and can’t get enough of them. I am loved by a man who says that watching porn feels like cheating, so he doesn’t. I am loved by a man who enjoys watching me dance, hearing me sing, and reading my writing.

I am loved by a man who is not afraid to tell me when I’ve put him down, hurt his feelings, or made him feel disrespected. I am loved by a man who tells me he worries that he is not good enough or man enough and that I could find someone better than him and leave him.

He doesn’t see how perfect he is.